Credited Hattie Stewart
Have you lost your sense of identity? Do you know how to find it?
It’s amazing what we put up with. Day after day living a life that only just will do and feeling disconnected from our identity. I see it over and over again, incredible women who allow themselves a second rate life, allow themselves to sit in the shadows and hide away in clothes that are ill fitting, worn out and confirm their feelings of unworthiness.
Recently I was working with a truly beautiful and inspiring women who i’d been coaching for the last few months. She’d come to me at her lowest ebb but she’d been open to finding a new path.
There we were on the Kings Road in Peter Jones, a couple of hours into her session. She was trying on clothes she never thought she could pull off or have the confidence to wear, when she suddenly turned to me and said with a touch of sadness & regret; ‘i’ve just realised I’ve been hiding in the shadows for 20 years’. We paused for a moment both of us with a lump in our throats and as that sunk in her look changed to one of determination and she said ‘no more’. With that the style lesson stepped up a notch and we really got to work on carving out the confident identity she had been desiring for so long.
It really is possible to see yourself in a new light, one you never thought possible. It may feel overwhelming but it actually just starts with a few small steps:
1. RECOGNISE & ACKNOWLEDGE
Coming out of the shadows begins with an initial moment of recognition that you are not where you want to be. It has to start there, with honesty & vulnerability.
2. INVITE CHANGE
So often we replay the same day over and over but is it actually working for you? Welcome in a new way of living and get some momentum going by starting with a small switch. Put some earrings back into an old piercing, wear an alternative pair of shoes to your normal choice, spritz a different perfume.
3. HAVE AN OOPS MOMENT
An oops is better than a what if. Give it a try and don’t beat yourself up about it. Reconnecting with what makes us feel good means that we have to make some mistakes. It’s not how often you get it right, its how open you are to self discovery.
4. POWER DRESSING
This is not 80’s corporate suiting i’m talking about. Power dressing is the items in your wardrobe that really shape your identity. Put another way they’re the clothes you own that make you want to puff out your chest, hold your head higher and shout ‘this is me’. Connect with them and then ask yourself why? Why do these do this for me and then seek out more of that!
5. PLAY DRESS UP
Time to have fun with your dressing and pull out pieces that you’ve not worn in a while, match new colours together, borrow your sisters dress and outfit with your wardrobe. Whatever it is to get your creative juices flowing and champion the power of ‘I wonder if this might work together’.
6. GO BACK TO SCHOOL
Until you understand yourself & discover more about you, your clothing is redundant. Functional at best. Knowledge is the key. Take on learning about style with an open and forgiving heart. Remove the need to just ‘buy more’ or ‘buy new’ but start learning what suits your figure and your colourings by becoming more aware of when you get compliments or when you feel that power in your clothes.
Mindful dressing is the key and connecting with our own truth is at the centre of that.
If now is the time for self discovery and you are ready to enter down that path, a life out of the shadows with a confident sense of your true identity is a lot easier and a far more fulfilling way to live.
For daily #louloustylelessons come join me on Instagram or drop me an email if you are ready to discover how powerful rediscovering your identity can be.